How to cope with a big fat ‘NO’



Such a horrible word and yet it happens so often and to such good people.

It happens when you feel like it’s the right time, you’ve got everything needed to apply and your life has slotted into place ready to start the next chapter and then… it’s a big fat NO.

It may be that your application wasn’t strong enough, you didn’t score enough points or simply there were so many candidates that the calibre was high.

Whatever the reason when you find out that it’s a ‘NO’, its heartbreaking. The investment in your future, getting family and friends on board and working hard for your dream, feels like it is gone in that one moment.

How do you carry on and fulfil your dream?

Everyone will say, “something better will come your way”, “it wasn’t the right time”, “these things happen for a reason”.

Everyone is very well-meaning and caring, but in reality you don’t want anything else to come your way, it felt like the right time and it feels like you don’t know the reason why you were not successful!

As someone that is stubborn, I know it can be easy just to ‘throw in the towel’ and actually believe that you’re not good enough.

My handy tips for bouncing back

  • Ask for feedback.
    Although it is daunting asking what people think of you, it is very important to understand what could be done differently or what you may need to do if you applied again. And remember, they aren’t rating you as a person, its about your performance in relation to the role/position you have applied for. Keeping this in mind will help you take it a lot less personally, so you can use any feedback you receive to help you improve how you do things.
  • Keep in mind what you really want to do.
    If you want a place on a course to be a midwife or a promotion, don’t let that dream go.
  • Not everyone is going to be successful, but that doesn’t mean you are a failure, it just means that next time you’ll know more about what is expected of you.
  • To remain determined and focused means having the self-belief that you will succeed.

“You are the only one that can make your dream come true, but when you have a set-back this can really knock your confidence.”

Get support from family and friends and most importantly… don’t give up on yourself, you will get there, you just need to stay focused, determined and persevere.

At Midwife Career we are there you hold your hand and help you.
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Hannah Vallance

Hannah is a Chartered Occupational Psychologist specialising in recruitment, selection and assessment. This means she designs and assesses at selection days just like the ones used for Midwifes, which is pretty handy experience for Midwife Career!

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